Merry Christmas, everyone!

Kelly got a cute new haircut. I love it! My baby's got bangs!

Remember how I had to write two proposals for orals? Well, I decided to put the second one online, in case any directionless grad student needs an idea for a good, easy project. My committee thought this one was better than my real project!

I finally finished my revised draft of my paper for Science! The figures are done and everything is formatted correctly. Now it's time for Tom to tear it to shreds. I'll be so glad when it's ready to submit it.

I like my new haircut. It's a reverse mullet--long on top; short in the back. I'm also glad the semester is over. All I have to do is a homework set this weekend and I'll be done with classes. I still have things to do, but at least there's one less thing to worry about.

Steve gave Kelly a Prince greatest hits CD set and said he was a "secret admirer". I don't like that. I can't control what Steve does, but I wish Kelly didn't get all excited about it.

I'm excited! I get to go to Dolce today.

Good luck on your physics test today, Kelly!

new pics are up on my LOMO page! I've got pictures from the park, Seattle, North Dakota, and a cool-looking developer's mistake. See if you can find the Space Needle!

I saw a weird movie this weekend--Der Golem. It's a silent film and an early example of German Expressionism. It's also one of the first monster movies. The basic story is that the Jews in Prague are being persecuted, and one rabbi decides to call up a demon to get the secret word to bring the Golem to life. The Golem, by the way, is just a clay statue. The Rabbi places the secret word in a pentagram-shaped phylactery on the Golem's chest to bring him to life. Removing the phylactery will turn him back into a statue. First, the Golem is nice and does many odd jobs for the Rabbi. Then the Rabbi brings the Golem to the Emporer. When the Golem saves the emporer's life, the Jews are spared. But soon after, the Golem turns evil because the power of his life comes from a demon. He runs rampant throughout the town because nobody can remove the phylactery. Then, after the Golem breaks the city gates, he meets some young children playing. He is filled with kindness, and picks up one of the children, who, out of curiosity, removes the pentagram. The day is saved.

The ending really reminds me of the scene in Frankenstein (1931) with the little girl picking flowers. I wonder if that scene, where the monster throws the girl into the lake, is a response to the final scene in Der Golem (1920), where a child saves the day.

I love Fridays. But I gotta study this weekend for Solid State Chemistry. Plus I have to wash my non-chick magnet car.

I'm finding it difficult to cope with the fact that my car is not the chick magnet I think it is. I just think it's so cool, but I must be super biased. Kelly is always saying I'm in love with my car. I just don't understand. Plus, I hate it when Beth is right.

Beth seems to think her car is a better chick magnet than mine. She supports her argument with an apparently unbiased survey of GLG103 students. Well, Beth, how many chicks have you picked up with your car? That's what I thought.

Brad: 1
Beth: 0

Small enough to know you, but large enough to serve you.

North Dakota was an adventure! There are many good memories: 5 hour layover in Minnesota, closed Mall of America, Kelly driving off the road, my meatballs, snowballs, more driving off the road, crappy parade, crazy old lady humming. Yep, and Kelly's grandparents are really nice. Do you know what the motto of McVille (pronounced "MAC-ville") is? "Small enought to know you, but big enough to serve you"

This day got bad pretty quickly. I finally gave Kelly that letter my mom wrote. I knew it contained some baby pictures of me and a note about "girl stuff", but I didn't know it was about my mom's pregnancy. Of course, this totally pissed Kelly off, and with good reason. It's way over the line. My mom claims she talks about this all the time with coworkers, but she's always been pretty clueless. Kelly doesn't want kids, and she doesn't drink milk, and she feels that when my mom talks about these things, she's pressuring Kelly. She's really not, but again, she's also clueless.

But that's not the worst. Kelly said she wanted to break up, and I finally understood when she says "punched in the heart". After I left her house, I couldn't stop crying. I know it sounds pitiful, but I didn't know what to do about the situation, and I feel like it's all my fault (although, reasonably, some amount of blame can be placed on all parties involved). My parents don't know that Kelly likes her interpersonal relationships a certain way with well defined boundaries, and I didn't do my part in explaining this fact.

So I called my mom and yelled at her. I've never yelled at my parents like that before, and it didn't feel good. It never feels good to yell, and it never feels good to hurt someone's feelings. But I did it because it needed to be done. My mom needed to know these things and understand how important they are for Kelly's comfort level and my happiness. I did it because I love Kelly.

I feel like shit now. I feel like everyone is mad at me. I have to constantly keep back tears. I hate myself for being so wussy about all this. I just want everybody to get along. After 25 years, I've learned to just ignore my mom and not take her seriously, but I keep forgetting that Kelly doesn't do this. I'm sorry, Kelly, for not understanding earlier. I don't want to break up. I just want to live together and be happy. Please don't push me away for some stupid thing my mom did.

I had a really good training session on the TEM today. It was basically and advanced lab, but we talked alot about theory. Peter Crozier is really smart. Good thing he's on my graduate committee.

In other news, Kelly asked to watch the Two Towers with me. I am highly suspicious, but I'm happy to explain why I think it's so cool whenever I can (unless of course there are a bunch of nerds already doing the same thing, and then the conversation somehow always ends up about Star Trek).

All is well. No need to worry. I don't try to change Kelly, and Kelly doesn't try to change me.

Kelly and I had thanksgiving with her family early this year, since we'll both be in NoDak then. Tofurky is not that bad. It tastes like tofu with flavor. I don't really like turkey, or any bird meat, anyways.

no meat no dairy make brad mad

Yay! I got my special edition DVD of the Two Towers! Oh, Kelly is going to hate me now. In other news, I love Kelly! Also, Beth is giving her senior thesis today, and I'm going to go and heckle her. But seriously, I'm supposed to keep Adam from harrassing her. And I have a surprise for her too.

Oh, and we had a good weekend in Cherry, trying to finish mapping our field area. There is an unmapped hole in the middle, but a few volunteers can clear that up another weekend right quick. I don't know if there are other holes in the map. But I'd like to help, especially since I've been in the hole, and I kindof know what to expect.

Kelly and I saw Matrix Revolutions yesterday. It was pretty cool. It didn't have the cool action scenes like the first two, but it did have a big battle in Zion, and wrapped up the storyline (somewhat).

my GSA poster is now online!