This day got bad pretty quickly. I finally gave Kelly that letter my mom wrote. I knew it contained some baby pictures of me and a note about "girl stuff", but I didn't know it was about my mom's pregnancy. Of course, this totally pissed Kelly off, and with good reason. It's way over the line. My mom claims she talks about this all the time with coworkers, but she's always been pretty clueless. Kelly doesn't want kids, and she doesn't drink milk, and she feels that when my mom talks about these things, she's pressuring Kelly. She's really not, but again, she's also clueless.

But that's not the worst. Kelly said she wanted to break up, and I finally understood when she says "punched in the heart". After I left her house, I couldn't stop crying. I know it sounds pitiful, but I didn't know what to do about the situation, and I feel like it's all my fault (although, reasonably, some amount of blame can be placed on all parties involved). My parents don't know that Kelly likes her interpersonal relationships a certain way with well defined boundaries, and I didn't do my part in explaining this fact.

So I called my mom and yelled at her. I've never yelled at my parents like that before, and it didn't feel good. It never feels good to yell, and it never feels good to hurt someone's feelings. But I did it because it needed to be done. My mom needed to know these things and understand how important they are for Kelly's comfort level and my happiness. I did it because I love Kelly.

I feel like shit now. I feel like everyone is mad at me. I have to constantly keep back tears. I hate myself for being so wussy about all this. I just want everybody to get along. After 25 years, I've learned to just ignore my mom and not take her seriously, but I keep forgetting that Kelly doesn't do this. I'm sorry, Kelly, for not understanding earlier. I don't want to break up. I just want to live together and be happy. Please don't push me away for some stupid thing my mom did.