This day got bad pretty quickly. I finally gave Kelly that letter my mom wrote. I knew it contained some baby pictures of me and a note about "girl stuff", but I didn't know it was about my mom's pregnancy. Of course, this totally pissed Kelly off, and with good reason. It's way over the line. My mom claims she talks about this all the time with coworkers, but she's always been pretty clueless. Kelly doesn't want kids, and she doesn't drink milk, and she feels that when my mom talks about these things, she's pressuring Kelly. She's really not, but again, she's also clueless.

But that's not the worst. Kelly said she wanted to break up, and I finally understood when she says "punched in the heart". After I left her house, I couldn't stop crying. I know it sounds pitiful, but I didn't know what to do about the situation, and I feel like it's all my fault (although, reasonably, some amount of blame can be placed on all parties involved). My parents don't know that Kelly likes her interpersonal relationships a certain way with well defined boundaries, and I didn't do my part in explaining this fact.

So I called my mom and yelled at her. I've never yelled at my parents like that before, and it didn't feel good. It never feels good to yell, and it never feels good to hurt someone's feelings. But I did it because it needed to be done. My mom needed to know these things and understand how important they are for Kelly's comfort level and my happiness. I did it because I love Kelly.

I feel like shit now. I feel like everyone is mad at me. I have to constantly keep back tears. I hate myself for being so wussy about all this. I just want everybody to get along. After 25 years, I've learned to just ignore my mom and not take her seriously, but I keep forgetting that Kelly doesn't do this. I'm sorry, Kelly, for not understanding earlier. I don't want to break up. I just want to live together and be happy. Please don't push me away for some stupid thing my mom did.

I had a really good training session on the TEM today. It was basically and advanced lab, but we talked alot about theory. Peter Crozier is really smart. Good thing he's on my graduate committee.

In other news, Kelly asked to watch the Two Towers with me. I am highly suspicious, but I'm happy to explain why I think it's so cool whenever I can (unless of course there are a bunch of nerds already doing the same thing, and then the conversation somehow always ends up about Star Trek).

All is well. No need to worry. I don't try to change Kelly, and Kelly doesn't try to change me.

Kelly and I had thanksgiving with her family early this year, since we'll both be in NoDak then. Tofurky is not that bad. It tastes like tofu with flavor. I don't really like turkey, or any bird meat, anyways.

no meat no dairy make brad mad

Yay! I got my special edition DVD of the Two Towers! Oh, Kelly is going to hate me now. In other news, I love Kelly! Also, Beth is giving her senior thesis today, and I'm going to go and heckle her. But seriously, I'm supposed to keep Adam from harrassing her. And I have a surprise for her too.

Oh, and we had a good weekend in Cherry, trying to finish mapping our field area. There is an unmapped hole in the middle, but a few volunteers can clear that up another weekend right quick. I don't know if there are other holes in the map. But I'd like to help, especially since I've been in the hole, and I kindof know what to expect.

Kelly and I saw Matrix Revolutions yesterday. It was pretty cool. It didn't have the cool action scenes like the first two, but it did have a big battle in Zion, and wrapped up the storyline (somewhat).

my GSA poster is now online!

Oh, what a week. The GSA conference for the first half, and Tracy & James's Las Vegas wedding over the weekend. I'm so glad all this is over. I even took Monday off to recuperate.

Right now I'm at ASU, and it's Veteran's Day. It's a little spooky, since nobody is here. It's disorienting, but not as much as Vegas is.

So I just want to say congrats to Tracy and James Townerkins-Bear, and to Beth for her 15 minutes of fame. Oh, and if you ever see me wasted at a party, be sure to ask me about the time I ran into Chris Cornell in Seattle. Have fun y'all!